Dear TMA,

I met this girl at a club and we talked for a bit, it was very chill no pressure stuff. She gives me her number and a few days later I invite her to dinner and she accepts. First off, she was late so when we got to the restaurant it was closed. I found this other place and we’re at our table and she keeps texting and answering her phone. Her excuse was that her dad was in town and her sister was picking him up. I offered to reschedule if she wanted to go be with her dad but she said, “No” and kept on texting.  It was hard to have a decent conversation with her.  She text me today asking if I wanted to hang out but I’m not sure what to do. She really didn’t seem to want to get to know me.

                                                      - Texted Out

      Dear Texted Out, 

Rude, yes.  Inexcusable, I’m not so sure.  Obviously your date was preoccupied on the night of your first outing.  She might have had a valid excuse (her father being in town) to text during your date.  The only way to find out for sure is to go on a second date.  Go and hang out.  Maybe even make it a casual lunch.  If her texting is habitual and occurs on your second date, kindly cut it short.  If she is not able to give you her undivided attention now, this behavior will surely only increase in time. Her texting you is a good sign that she is interested, but you deserve someone who is interested and willing to focus on YOU during your dates (without checking her phone every few minutes). 
 

Dear TMA,

I have this friend “Kat” who I hang out with all the time, we’ve known each other for a year now and I’m really into her. She has always refused to introduce me to her friends and I thought it was kind of odd but I was cool with it. I recently found out that she was Bi-sexual and I was a little hurt that she didn’t tell me. I’m not sure if that’s why she didn’t want me to meet her friends or if it was just something about me.

                                                      - Disgruntled Dude

      Dear Disgruntled,

There are many people out there who are still “searching” for who they really are and what they truly want out of life.  Sometimes when they find it, they are hesitant to share certain aspects of their lives with others.  Your best bet is to speak openly to Kat about your discovery.  Let her know that you would like to maintain a friendship with her and that you like her for who she is, not who she dates.  If she is a true friend, she will appreciate your openness and feel more at ease in discussing other details in her life.  This may help to build a bond for a strong, lasting relationship/friendship for you both. 
 
 
 
 

Dear TMA,

If one more person asks me when I’m graduating, I’m going to scream! Ok why does everyone keep asking; is it because I look older than they are? Because I’ve been here awhile, can’t I be left in peace until the graduation application comes up in conversation with my advisor?

                                                - Graduating Grandma

      Dear Grandma,

Do not let other’s deter you from reaching your goals.  You ARE older and wiser than that.  Graduation is a popular topic (especially this time of year) and lots of people are being asked the same question.  We are all headed in the same direction, just at different speeds.  It is admirable that you have returned to school later in life.  It is often difficult to balance work, family and school successfully.  Pace yourself.  You will get there soon.  Work hard and know that you are going to get there.    
 
 

Dear TMA,

What do you do when it feels like your life is falling apart, job, family, school. I feel like I’m constantly trying to catch up. I’m late with everything, I don’t get enough sleep and I’m always getting sick which just makes everything worse. What do I do?

                                                      - Sick n Tired

      Dear Sick n Tired,

Slow down.  Yep, that’s it.  Slow down and prioritize your life.  Make a list of what you “have” to do and what you “want” to do. Do you volunteer for things that you are not able/don’t have time to do?  Learn how to say, “No.”  It is hard to do anything well, if you don’t know where to start.  Normally, this just leads to procrastination and ends up hurting you more in the end.  Focus on your own health first and be sure to consult a physician for your illnesses and explain your situation to her/him.  It is not surprising that you have health problems.  Stress is a contributing factor to many illnesses.  – So take a minute…breathe…and relax.  You have to take care of YOU first.  Everything else can wait.

 

Dear TMA,

This will sound like a bad soap opera but I recently saw my boyfriend kissing this girl at a party I went to when he was supposed to be at home sick. When I went to confront them they had already left. He swears it wasn’t him and I have my doubts because it gets better- he has an identical twin, the problem is his twin is dating my best friend and he swears it wasn’t him either and since this is not a Shaggy song. I know one of them is lying but I have no idea what to do.

                                                      - Doubtful Dater

      Dear Doubtful,

It sounds like the fella’s have some explaining to do.  You and your friend could get the twins together for a group questioning, but the chances are that neither of them will admit to being at the party.  “Birds of a feather…” and twins? There is no chance that one is going to tell on the other.  Your best bet (for you and your friend) is to keep your eyes open.  I am not telling you to snoop or become a stalker, but pay attention. Have your man’s habits changed lately?  Have you caught him in any (other) lies?  Where there is smoke, there is always fire and the truth will come out eventually.  All you have to do is wait.